Shield of Faith

Faith, it is something that we are taught at a young age to have. We have to have faith in our parents that they will provide food, shelter and love. We have to have faith in our teachers that they are teaching us correct information. But somehow as we get older and more independent our faith is changed. We have faith that when we go to work that we will receive a paycheck, we have faith that if we pay our bill the lights will work, we have to start working for our faith. We have to DO something in order to have that kind of faith. God is no different.

"In addition to all this take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one." Ephesians 6:16 NIV

In this study I was reading about Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. They singlehandedly stood up to the almighty King Nebuchadnezzer and sad that they would not serve or bow down to the Gold image that the king had made his people worship. (Daniel 3:16-18) They were sent into an inferno, a furnace made for the purpose of annihilating their mere existence. They went in not knowing if God would spare them, but they went in there saying 'we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.'

Wow! What conviction and what FAITH! 

Everyday we walk this earth, we are walking a hidden battlefield. We have a CHOICE to pick up the shield of faith and trust that God will take us where we need to go, not necessarily where we want to, but where we need to.

Personally, I have really been struggling with this whole thing. With God, with the bad things people do, with having faith. I try, I try to keep my head up towards the Lord and I try to be the person I am expected to be, but I keep falling. I focus on the negative and I look at the things and people I have lost. I have so much to be thankful for and the devil keeps pulling me back into the pit of worry, and stress, and hardship. It's a rough road to follow. I have been told following God is easy, it's simply a decision to be good and follow his lead, listen to him and you will fulfill the will of God. Well, I don't know about you, but I respond much better to verbal instructions, written usually works too. But really, a little book and a few phoe calls from God would be great! "Okay Molly, today is going to be hard, your going to have this and this happen, but don't worry in 2 months it will be resolved and this whole stress thing will go away." And this my friends is where that mighty shield of FAITH comes in. I don't have God on speed dial, I don't have a map of my life. I have a Bible, I have friends and family that support my choice to follow God and I have my Faith. In this battle field of life I have to choose to pick up the shield and tell the devil and all his nonsense that "I'm covered." God has my back. 

I've been told many a times when you pick up a bible satan gets a headache, when you open it he collapses. Imagine what happens when you live it? He definitely pays attention and he turns his wrath loose. Being a Christian is not easy, bad things WILL happen, and the devil WILL try and turn you the other way. Where in the crowd will you be when the devil says "bow to me?" I'm standing in line behind Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, you?

Free Will and Judgement

Free will is a double edged sword, everyday people make the decision to choose God or to choose the world. I have really been battling this lately. I have been choosing God, but the guilt of how many times I have not is difficult to stomach. And dealing with the consequences of others decisions.

I have been doing a study on Romans chapter one about God's wrath.

"The wrath of God is being revealed from Heaven against all godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness. 19 Since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20 For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are withuout excuse. 21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him but their thanking because futile and their foolish hearts were darkened."

Romans 1:18-21

I have of late been struggling with thanking God for certain things in my life. I thank him daily for my life, my family, my housing, that I am not hungry etc... But I am really struggling with free will. 

As mentioned before free will is a double edged sword, in one way I am thankful that I have free will to decide what is right from wrong and choose God and the things he has planned for me, have faith and be thankful for the things that I have. But this also comes with OTHER people having free will. Being a Christian does not make you immune to the decisions and consequences of others' decisions. This is hard for me right now. We all have the choice, God is always around the corner with hand outstretched and we still stumble and some stumble more than others. I have heard a saying "Don't condemn people because they sin differently than you." God sees all sin the same. As a human it is hard to understand how he can be so forgiving and loving to people that don't appear to deserve it.

But, WE HAVE ALL SINNED AND FALLEN SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD! Itis not my place to judge the people around me, or point out to them that their actions are not "approved of by God." Because I, myself have fallen short, and will continue to fall short for the rest of my time on this earth.

I used to say "I can judge those around me when I can walk on water." This of course is not true, but simply an expression, it's not my place to judge. We will have our judgment one day before God himself.

On these bad days when I don't understand God's plan, and I don't understand why bad things happen. I simply have to have the faith that God knows better than I do. I must have faith when it' the hardest to do so. God has made it plain to us what he expects of us, he doesn't expect ANYONE to follow the rules 100% of the time, but he does want us to come back to him when we stray. And he always wants us to have faith in his will and timing.

Stop and smell the roses

"Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy." 1 Peter 1:8 NIV

I think today's study is going to kind of focus on stopping and smelling the roses. I know that I, myself get so caught up in the day to day life, my chores, my errands, my daughter, my husband, my duties as a wife and mother and I miss the little things that are going on around me. I saw a meme on social media that said "The things you take for granted.... Someone else is praying for" I just kind of sat back and thought to myself how true that statement is. How many times in my own life have I hoped and prayed for exactly what I have now! I've been homeless and now I have a roof over my head, I have been hungry and I now have a fridge full of food, I have been through so many things and I now no longer have to go through them, and I often take that for granted. I will be rushing to get to the store or get through the store while my daughter tugs and pulls in a million directions and I am looking at my watch and urging her along. (How would it be to have the eyes of a child again!)  I just get so busy that I don't think about the fact that I am in a grocery store with money in the bank to purchase the items we need, or the fact that I have an adorable little girl who thinks I am the coolest person ever. I take for granted that when I get to the checkout I am not holding my breath and praying the card isn't declined, and I neglect to cherish the fact that I go into the parking lot and get into a car that is new and runs and I can place my daughter safely in the back and I simply turn the key and I am not praying it starts, or praying I have enough gas to get home. I have gotten complacent. Now, God does NOT like it when we get complacent

"You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked." Revelations 3:17 NIV

Whoa! Intense! We come into this world cold and naked and if we don't listen to God we will leave in much the same way. I have gotten too comfortable with my life I have forgotten that I wouldn't have this life if it wasn't for God and his grace. As a human there is only so much that I can do, I cannot pull myself up by my bootstraps and achieve greatness alone. All I would have is broken bootstraps and nothing to show for it. Granted I should not ever focus on material things, but as a human I do. But, I need to shift my focus from "look at me" to "look at him." Because without God and his grace, love and faithfulness in ME I would be nothing. I cannot even begin to count how many times I have simply asked God for peace, and strength. Because I knew what I had to get accomplished I could not do on my own. But part of not being a lukewarm Christian is knowing that God is not an Emergency exit, he is a way of life. 

Everything I am today is because of everything I have been through in the past, and that is not only things in my day to day life or my personality or well being, but also my relationship with God. I am here on my knees and thanking him for everything that I have, not nearly as often as I should, but I'm still here. God has placed me in many situations to teach me one thing or another, and sometimes I get it on the first try and sometimes I don't. But he is still here, he is still holding my hand and loving me for who I am, with all my flaws and shortcomings. He has been there through it all, by my side. Now it is my turn to be there with him through it all and give the credit where it is truly deserved and earned. God is good, God is great and I would not be here if it were not for him, and THAT is a day by day, moment by moment train of thought.

The rules

The mind is a terrible thing to waste, we hear this all the time, but where does this fall into the Godly realm? 

"The sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so?" Romans 8:7 NIV

So, what is God's law? I would hope we are all familiar with the Ten Commandments, but what does God REALLY want from us as far his 'law' is concerned? From what I understand, and it is I am sure not 100% correct, but this is MY journey after all.

From what I understand the Ten Commandments were/are the groundwork for God's law, it explains to us how we are supposed to act toward God, ourselves and of course our fellow man. In any society or group there has to be rules and regulations or the entire thing will crumble. The same concept applies in Christianity and your relationship with God. Even though we are forgiven of ALL of our wrong doing with a mere request for forgiveness, that doesn't mean that he wants us to go out and destroy the name of Christianity, destroy his image or the things we all stand for. He wants us to BE LIKE HIM. 

"Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth and over all the creature that move along the ground."" Genesis 1:26

So it sounds to me that he wants us to be like him, follow him but we will never be him. This guy was PERFECT! He was put on this earth and went through more trials and temptations than we can ever imagine and yet he managed to remain faithful to his father and not sin, not even once. But, we are human, we were made in his image not his clones. He wants us to follow him and need him. So in order to do these things all he is asking that we follow the rules. 

I think the first and most important rule is that we come to God willingly and with all of our heart, after all who wants to follow rules that we don't believe in or support. (I mean we all have to follow basic rules to be a member of society, and this is where the Ten Commandments set the groundwork.) If we don't come to him or join him willingly how can we really get to know who or what he is really about right?  I think the second part of this 'law' agreement is simply based in love. We must love God, we must love our neighbors, love our parents, love our spouses etc... In order to keep the commandments we must put someone else above ourselves and 'love' them enough to not sin against them. Sounds simple right? If it were so simple and easy to follow would God really have made Moses go to the top of the mountain and write the rules in stone and them come back down and have God himself scare the Israelites? God said he is a jealous and wants us only to believe and listen to him, that is rule #1. This all seems to straight forward, Follow the Ten Commandments, love those around us more than ourselves and do all of this willingly. But it's not as easy as it sounds. I am reminded of the funny message/prayer

"Dear Lord, So far I have done alright. I haven't gossiped, haven't lost my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty selfish or overindulgent. I'm really glad about that. But in a few moments,God, I'm going to get out of bed. And from then on I'm going to need a lot more help."

I think that hilariously sums up our need for God and how hard it really is to follow the laws of God. But we need to remember he is there. Take a breath, take ten if you need to, say a little prayer and remember, when we need him the most he is the closest to us. The rules are there for a reason and we make not like the and at times difficult to follow, but we have the most patient, loving and forgiving father to set s back up when we fall and be there for us when we stray from the path.

These aren't impossible rules to follow, but they aren't always easy. But the more we put God first, follow these rules daily it will become second nature. Just take it moment by moment and remember we are made in his image, we aren't him.

Thank you Lord for your patience, I am going to need a lot of it! 

Why does God let bad things happen? My interpretation

Why does God let bad things happen? I have to say this is the most awkward and dodged question for most Cristians. It's like a small child "where do babies come from?" It's really a difficult question for most people to answer, I know I ask this question a lot more than I care to admit. And I am not alone in this endeavor, one Googe search and over 4 MILLION results. I browsed a few results out of mere curiosity and a common thread in all of them.... We won't get the answer here (world.) Well, what the.... You can tell me why there are weird lights above the North Pole, and why two oceans in the gulf of Alaska don't mix, apparently it is the water density of the melting ice and the existing water in the gulf, there is you nugget of information for today:) See, I have written only a paragraph on the topic and am already running from the question.

Today marks the one year anniversary of the death of my father,  he lost his life in a pretty terrible motorbike accident.  Now, my father and I did not have a close relationship, we talked occasionally and we exchanged cards and sentiments at holidays. My parents divorced when I was bout 7/8 and I was 110% a daddy's girl. And then *poof* he was gone, we (my brother and I) would see him in the summer with his new family and spend time together, but it was never the same. But he was still my dad, I honestly didn't think his death would hit me half as hard as it did. So much left to say, so much more to do before we crossed that road, and all of a sudden I was standing there and he was gone. Why would God let this happen? I wasn't ready, my family wasn't even close to ready. My Grandmother has always been an amazing matriarch of our family, that woman is as tough as nails. I honestly was afraid for her health, she was not doing well and still isn't. I cannot even imagine how difficult it would be to lose a child, and I do not want to find out. 

This is one of the many examples of my questioning God, I guess it's a reminder of the question. I have been through a lot in my life and many times I have been kneeling and crying and just wanting to know 'why.' Why /take my babies away (miscarriages) why make us go through such terrible things? Why let me get so sick? Why take my loved ones? Why make this all so hard?

So, my response and interpretation.... May be a bit a cliché, but bear with me. How can we enjoy the light without the dark? But it is not nearly that simple. God flat out tells us we will have troubles!

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" John 16:33 NIV

I seem to keep coming back to this verse, but it simply reminds me that if I am having troubles, I am still alive and God is still here. I am human, and if I am lucky I have a good day to 70 years left to live this life. But after that is what really counts. I have a King that died on the cross for me and if I believe in him I shall have ever lasting life, won't be life on this planet, but life with him. And even if I'm wrong about this whole thing, and there is no life after this I am still content and comfortable with my choice to put God first in my life. I would rather live for something than die for nothing.

Back to the no light without the dark. Yes, bad things happen to good people, bad things happen to very Christian people, people who go to church every Sunday and pray without ceasing. Some people die prematurely, they get diagnosed with cancer and they end up homeless, bad things happen to good people. And sometimes what we interpret as good things happen to really bad people. I will leave that open to interpretation. 

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” Matthew 7:24-27 NIV

We have a choice. We can believe that God has a greater plan and have faith that he knows what he's doing or we can depend on ourselves and risk building on the sand. Again, being a Christian does not make your life a bed of roses, but it gives you a great traveling companion. I think God has his reasons, and he is often referred to as the"Father." Well, any good father will teach you, don't touch the stove, it's hot, don't run into the streets there are cars... Etc. If your arm gets broken it hurts! And then you wear a cast, which is still painful, and eventually it gets better and your arm is scarred and may not be as good as it was, but it is WAY better than it would have been if you had not done anything. And this is where my opinion comes in. God puts us through trials to make us stronger, not only stronger as a person who has overcome an obstacle, but stronger in our faith and trust in him. Sometimes it takes a brick to the face to remind us that our strength is not in ourselves or the people around us, it is in the hand of God who stands beside us.

But this still leaves the question, why take people out of our lives? Why at 51 did my father have to die in a horrible way. I heard so many things in the days following, "he didn't feel any pain he died instantly" and then that he lived long enough at the hospital that he could have made his peace with God. As a medical professional I would like to believe that he passed instantly and was not in the pain that I can't even bring myself to imagine, but the Christian in me hope and prays that he made his peace and is in heaven with God. He meant so much to so many people, his memorial service was in a large church and it was full, I was shocked. Standing on stage talking about him and seeing all the grief and heartache and for what? What was the reason? I'm sorry, but "It was his time" just doesn't cut it for me. Now, I believe that we are all here for a reason and God has a plan for our lives. (My father was an organ donor and was able to donate to young children in an area nearby.) But, because we have free will and because the devil is alive and well on earth and in the people who do not follow God, that is when lives are taken for no reason. Every night before bed I read the news, "4 people dead in .....", "Husband and wife sentenced for death of their toddler." A nice dose of dreadful before bed, I should probably re think my bedtime routine. So if God is so great, and amazing and loves us so much, why do all of these things happen??? Why is there so much pain in the world? Why do innocent people suffer for what seems like no reason? My conclusion..... free will. God is in control and has a very large part in the things that happen to his people. He teaches us in different ways to become closer to him. But there is an ongoing battle between good and evil each and every moment of each and every day. PEOPLE take the power from him and decide for themselves to be evil and do horrible things. And I have decided that I am going to pray, and I am going to focus on the light, even when there is only one tiny sparkle in an otherwise black night. Each of us have to find a way to cope with the things that have happened in our lives, with the trauma we have endured, without some of the people we love, and learn to live with the depravity that we hear and see every single day, because our time here is a tiny blip on the radar compared to the eternity that has been promised to us.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16 NIV

It's all about focus and faith, not necessarily understanding the reason, if you focus on the reason you will miss the beauty we are also surrounded by. It's okay to have 'glass half empty days' just don't live there, fill up that cup and enjoy what you DO have.

Having a little faith

"He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves "Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

Mark 4:39 NIV

It has been a little bit since I posted, we got an amazing gift from God and everything we had been stressing about was resolved.  So today I am thinking to myself how powerful God really is. I mean who do you know that can shout outside and say "Be still" and then the wind stops? Unless they are controlling the wind machine. And I have yet to meet a person who loves me and forgives me for everything I have ever and will ever do. I have a mom that loves me and siblings that love me, and an amazing husband that loves me. But, on those days when I am just really not lovable, and when I repeatedly mess up and not listen.... I wouldn't have a friend in the world if I acted like that all the time.  But I would have God. I can't count the amount of times I have walked away and said "I can do it alone" or "I'm not going to listen, because I don't want to." And yet, every turn he's there, waiting patiently for me to go the right way.

In our family we have a saying, "God gives us a brick to the face." Sounds horrific I know, but stay with me. During those times when I am not lovable, and just flat out not listening, I can usually count on running into a brick wall. Things get harder, I don't get what I was expecting or wanting and life gets a little uncomfortable. Then if I continue, life gets REALLY hard, and things totally spin out of control and that is a brick to the face, when I have nowhere to look but up. These are not pleasant times, and life is really a hard thing to wake up to everyday. But, once I walk around the corner and grab the hand of God and tell him "I'm sorry, I messed up." I feel the peace, the forgiveness and things start getting a little better, a little easier. And that is the forgiveness of God, I honestly think he gives us trials and we are at a fork in the road, one way to the world and the other to God. Which one we choose really sets the tone for our lives. I know people who constantly take the world road and they have a lot more than I do, they work half as hard as I do and have twice as much. Once I realized that wasn't what life was about, It's about finding contentment in the things you have and being thankful to God for all he has given, I personally have been a lot happier. Keeping my focus on God and not the problems and people around me has made a big difference.

Now my goal with all of this, is to avoid these bricks to the face, and these wake up calls. Now I have no delusion of life on easy street, he flat out tells us "you will have trouble." But I don't want to find him hiding behind the corner where I stuck my faith, I want to walk with him daily and have a hand to hold during my trials. Right now, there are quite a few lingering questions about trials, and a lot of growth needed in the faith area, but I'm working on it. Oh, what it would be to sit down with him for an hour and find out what life has in store. But we don't have the map, we have the key, the Bible, we have the guide, God, and we have to have a little faith. Listen to him when it's hard to listen and follow when it's the hardest to follow, and trust when you are sure you can do it better.

Faith

Original Sin

What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?
Romans 8:31 NIV

Well, I can honestly say that I feel like EVERYTHING is against me sometimes. I wake up abruptly and am given a choice to be irritated or joyful. I fix my family breakfast and have another choice, be annoyed that my daughter got syrup everywhere again or be happy that I have food to eat and a family to share it with. And before we eat, I have the choice to thank the Lord for the food and my family or just dig in. I have been awake less than an hour and I have already had at least three chances to turn to God. Did I meet my goal? Today, yes. But, there are 24 hours in a day, and you can't sleep it all away and hope that God is only looking when you are doing the right thing. It is a conscious effort, it takes time and it takes work to put one foot in front of the other and get up that mountain! 

Now, I am not the first person to ever struggle with this concept, I am hardly the first Christian to say "hey. this sucks and I have the answer, but I don't want to do that." If I had a fever, and I was so sick I couldn't do anything I would go to the doctor and he/she would give me an antibiotic, I would take it religiously (funny that we use that word for this behavior) for the full 10 days and would not give it a second thought. Because by day 3 I would be feeling like a million bucks. I think the true struggle with God is we get that immediate, YES! Powerful, covered in the holy spirit, honeymoon phase of turning our live to God, and then life happens, honeymoon is over! We have to go back to work, we have to take care of our family, we have to drive the same road, with the same people that were there yesterday. And God isn't there. He is back at home, or even at church. God is not a cap that we put on once a week and then forget about.  But, it is what I keep doing! Life is hard, and unforgiving and we are bombarded daily with the views of unGodly things.

When we turn to God the devil takes notice. We have a fork in the road each day at each moment and we have two ways to turn. One towards God and the other the Devil. And we are constantly being pulled in two directions. And the true test is which side will I let win? The honeymoon doesn't last forever in any relationship and God is no different.
But this is why I need to make God someone I meet with religiously. I am making a mom time, a time for me to grab my multiple devotionals, or something I have in my head and read about it, talk to God about it, and feel. That has been the hardest thing for me, for most of my life. My parents divorced when I was young and I was told to "feel" the sadness and cry if I needed to, and feel angry, but let it out in the correct way. Well at 8 the correct way was unknown to me. And no one wanted to hang out with the girl who cried all the time. As I became an adult "feeling" was something I could shut off, and not worry about until I was ready. And then one day my BODY told me it was ready, I was officially out of hiding space. I became very ill, in and out of the hospital and medication after medication and NOTHING worked. I was looking in the wrong direction. I AM NOT saying that mental illness can be cured by having a stronger relationship with God, I will talk about that another day. But I surely do believe that a healthy relationship with God can definitely make those bad days a little bit easier. 

I really went off on a tangent on this one, phew, I am not doing so well at this. I am not the first person to deal with this, Adam and Eve were. They were set up with some pretty nice digs! No rent, no stress, no need for clothes, lets name some animals, meet with God and enjoy this oasis that we have here. And Eve STILL stumbled, God put a fork in the road, the serpent, and she went the wrong way. And we are all still paying for this decision. But that is what 'will' is all about. I have to make the decision to turn to the light, take the antibiotics, or turn the other way and hope I don't die, or end up further from God than I want to be. I know the answer to the question, I just have to put aside my own failings, and fears and walk in faith. God gives us a choice, and EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY we have to decide which way we are going to go, and I won't make the right decision every time, and that is why I need to walk WITH him and not alone. Because I can not do this alone, I'm too human.